That nasty four letter word....Fear!

I wanted to go to the top of Seattle's Space Needle for so long. You would think that when I got there, I would have leaned over the rail and screamed...I'm FREEEEEE! Ok...maybe that's a little dramatic but its something I really wanted...but once I got to the top, my legs were shaking, my head was spinning and all I could think about was how high up I was. Its something I wanted to see for so long but once I was there FEAR took over. What I did with that fear once I felt it, makes all the difference between me controlling my fear and my fear controlling me. I enjoyed the view....with my heart racing and palms sweating...I took pictures and pretended like I was ok. You know that saying, "Fake it till ya make it", well that's just what  I did! 

I have been told more times than I can count that I am crazy for going to China alone. (I am not going alone anymore because last month my friend Amy decided to buy a ticket and join me...making this trip even more epic) Ok...so let me explain how the whole "let me go on an adventure in china alone thing" started. Last summer I decided to plan a trip to visit my friends in Japan. As I was looking for flights, I noticed that a long layover in China only raised the price of the ticket by a couple hundred bucks....here started the idea. I have always wanted to travel to China...this seemed like the perfect opportunity. First feeling was FEAR. I knew in Japan I had nothing to worry about. I am safe with my friends but spending 5 days in a country where I don't speak the language, don't know my way around and have NO natural directional ability caused so much initial fear. As soon as I recognized this, I put a stop to it. I will not allow fear to rule my life. I will not allow fear to hold me back from the things that feed my soul and create happiness. 

So I did it. I bought that ticket and started planning. I mustered through all the comments along the way...the people trying to tell me "I shouldn't, couldn't. Every time someone brought negativity to my epic adventure. I replied with a simple. "What an adventure I will have, I can't wait." Don't get me wrong, I think a healthy amount of fear is good....it has caused me to plan my train tickets, hotels, write down directions in English and contact everyone I can to make the trip safe and smooth. But I am still pushing the unhealthy fear that would have stopped me from buying the ticket to begin with....and what an adventure it will be. No one looks back on their life and says, "I wish I would have stayed home and watched tv instead of taking the opportunity to have fun"....that's why I take every minute of my life and make the most of it. I want to look back at my life at 90 and have great memories that make me smile just thinking about them. I want to make the most out of my time here!

I can look back and see opportunities that I did not take and adventures I did not go on...just because I was afraid. Fear will always be there...but I get to make the choice if it controls me...or I control it! Next stop....CHINA!