We take photos as a return ticket to a moment otherwise gone.

I went to the celebration of life for an amazing woman last weekend. As I was sitting there watching the slideshow of photos of her life it makes you realize that you really don't know how long you have here on earth. It's so important to LIVE your life to the fullest. Karen was a great example of this! As I was sitting there in a packed church of people that loved her, it made me realize what an impact she made in people's lives without even realizing it. Do you ever wonder if the things you say, do or the way you simply live your life is making an impact on someone? Karen made an impact on more than just a church full of people but thousands of kids that passed through her classroom, countless people that she met on her road trips and everyone she met in her day to day life. 

She had countless admirable qualities....her faith in God was the quality I most admired. Even through her illness, her faith never wavered. She always had faith in Gods plan. I hope that my faith stays as strong as hers if I am ever faced with that situation. We had a common passion in life....photography. As she traveled she took photos on every adventure. Watching the slideshow of the photos of her life...you could see her joy for life!

It comfirmed my need to take lots of photos on my adventures in life. During any moment in life...we aren't thinking that we will forget that moment someday. How many times have you looked back at a photo and thought that you forgot that memory....or started remembering everything that happened during that time in life. Funny little moments that seemed insignificant at the time...but bring so much joy years later. 

I have a photo of Rob and Gabe. Gabe must be around five years old. Just a normal day eating dinner and Rob dared Gabe to put hot sauce on his dessert. Gabe did it and the reaction for both of them was a priceless moment. I caught that moment in a picture and it now sits on my fridge as a reminder of the times of laughter. I can't say for sure if I would have remembered that moment without the picture...but I doubt it. 

I feel like our cameras are our eyes...and the shutter freezes that moment in time. I like to think of photos as a return ticket to a moment otherwise gone. 

Just when you think you're doing ok....

The alarm goes off and my first thought was...it will be a good day. Go through each morning routine...no different than any other day. I tried to think happy thoughts and remember all the good birthdays we spent together....it will work this year....I won't be sad....my heart won't ache to hear his voice. Then it happened. The chime of my phone, Facebook reminding me that it's his birthday and asking if I want to send him a gift. Then, my heart sank. Of course I want to wish him a happy birthday and send him a gift. Of course I want to call him and give him a hug....but it won't happen. It's just another reminder that he is not here. 

I do so well for long periods of time now. I miss him and ALWAYS think of him but I no longer end up in a different town when I am supposed to go to work...yell at the target lady for asking how my day is going....cry to the handy man for asking if I have anyone to install the product for me. If you consider all those things....I am doing great. But, it does not make me miss him any less....it does not make it any less difficult to not celebrate his birthday...it does not make me want to hear his voice any less. I just miss him! And I always will! I know that all things happen for a reason and he is always watching over me....it's just a matter of getting used to the new normal. 

Grief is a roller coaster ride that no one asked to ride on. It's all about how you decide to ride the ride. Roller coasters are always scary and fear is something I won't let control my life. I will take each emotion as they come and deal with it but still live everyday as if it were my last. It's what I have gained most from this roller coaster ride....LIVE each day....LOVE each day and never leave ANY words unspoken. I hope your soaring in the sky today Robbie.