Monday, August 11, 2014

No matter what people tell you, words and ideas can change the world!

He has made us all laugh for years. With his quick speech, crazy voices and quick whit...he has brought laughter in all our homes. His talents could not be reckoned with. But there was a sadness behind that smile...a sadness many have and are afraid to show the world. His name is Robin Williams...he was a father, son, husband and friend. He has a large group of people that will now go through the difficult process of finding a new normal without him. 
There is a huge stigma behind mental illness. It's scary to most that do not educate themselves about it. Hell, I am educated about it and it scares me sometimes. I feel fortunate to not suffer from mental illness or depression....but have people that I love, that do. I don't love them any less because of it, but it's not always easy to have them in my life. Sometimes people with mental illness love the deepest but have qualities that are hard to be around. My hope is that one day there will be no judgements against people with mental illness and acceptance will be the norm. 
When a community finds out that one of their own has cancer....they rally together. Fundraisers, cooking meals, babysitting....really anything people need to get through it. It's an illness people can take a blood test...get results and quantify. You physically see the patient loose their hair and get ill. Cancer is a horrible illness that I pray to find a cure for, but there is another illness that kills also but viewed very differently. 
When a member of the same community finds out that someone is diagnosed with depression or bi-polar....the mood changes. They say things like, "they need to just snap out of it" "why can't they just see how blessed they are?" It's almost as if they don't believe that this type of illness is real....they think they are making the choice to feel this way.....That the patient has more control over fixing it or stopping the feelings then the cancer patient fighting their battle. Neither the cancer patient nor the mentally ill patient WANTS the diagnosis. Neither WANTS to feel ill. 
Mental illness is real...and affects more people than you imagine. There are 43.7 million adults and 8.5 million children with mental illness in the United States. This statistic is not accurate considering how many people live in silence with mental illness. Can you imagine how much higher this number would be if we had less judgments on people with mental illness and they felt comfortable talking about it openly and getting help.
Last year in the US, 14.5 people were diagnosed with cancer....and with research and medications, the survival rate as significantly increased over the years. 
With over 43 million people diagnosed with mental illness, chances are you know someone who suffers with it. It's an illness that makes everyone feel so helpless. The person suffering does not want to feel the way they do, the family and friends want to help but feel helpless when their efforts do not change the illness. 

I was not prepared for the waterfall of emotions after Robin Williams death. I am not affected by celebrity deaths....but this one brought back so many emotions. Emotions from the moment I heard my life had changed. When I heard that Robin Williams committed suicide, I immediately thought of his family and friends....what their next days, months and years would be like. The unanswered questions, the "whys" "what ifs"...the blaming yourself...the wondering "I could have stopped it if I would have said something different when we talked"...or "I should not have left him alone....I knew he was sad." Before his death, I had no idea that I was even capable of all the emotions I felt. I learned about the grieving process in college. I lost a few people in my life...all close to me and I went through the process but I never knew the intensity of grief until Rob's passing. 
I feel for Robin Williams friends and family and I really hope that people will start to realize that depression is real....it affects people that put a smile on their face in public but battle deep sadness. Judging people with depression is not the answer....ignoring the problem is not the answer and pretending that you do not see symptoms does not make it go away. I hope this helps you he next time you hear that someone say they suffer from a mental illness to not judge...but accept and love. Some of the people closest to my heart and love me the deepest just happen to have mental illness....I love them for who they are...not what they have. The mental illness does not define them, just as a cancer patient does not want cancer to define their lives. 
Every 13.3 minutes someone in the United States tries to commit suicide. During the time that it took me to write this blog, 4 people attempted suicide. That's REAL!



1 comment:

  1. Very well written. I agree, but we usually agree. Thanks for sharing. -A

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